the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
