"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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