my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize