i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
