Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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