so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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