Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
