I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
