Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize