I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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