So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
