question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
