Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
