i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
