I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize