Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
