i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
