Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
