I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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