You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
