I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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