Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
