thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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