break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
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On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
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You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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