Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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