He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
