The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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