Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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