he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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