Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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