false alarm. still invincible.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
