As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize