I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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