he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
