I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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