remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
