how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize