Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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