I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
