Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize