so explain again why im purple
no
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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