She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
