After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize