Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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