I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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