My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Your cock deserves a montage
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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