hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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