My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
