In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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