About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize