just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
