We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
