i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
