She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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